Journey to the West: Man in heaven, working nine to five

#831 - Tathagata: Is this Tang Sanzang? What did I miss?

Sun Wukong used the explanation given by the Tathagata Buddha:

"Master, have you forgotten? You were crossing the river just now and fell off the boat all of a sudden."

"It's our third junior brother. Oh, right, I forgot to mention that during your unconsciousness, we gained a Sha junior brother."

"Come, Lao Sha, come over and meet the Master."

Sha Wujing, carrying the luggage, walked over and respectfully performed the disciple's greetings to Tang Sanzang,

"Master, please accept this disciple's bow!"

Tang Sanzang was stunned, his head full of question marks.

"So, I fell into the river? And he fished me out? Then, while I was unconscious, he became my disciple?"

"Is this reasonable?"

Pig Bajie grinned, pointing at the Flowing Sand River and saying:

"Yes, in this river."

Tang Sanzang twitched the corner of his mouth.

"Bajie, stop playing puns with me. None of this is reasonable!"

Pig Bajie waved his hand, pointing to the sky and whispering:

"Master, the story is long."

"Anyway, we now have this Sha junior brother."

However, I was persuaded by the Western Heaven to return to the right path and am willing to follow Master to the Western Heaven. Please rest assured..."

Sha Wujing could only say the lines he had been given.

However, Tang Sanzang took two steps back, his face full of suspicion.

"Oh, enlightened by the Western Heaven..."

Tang Sanzang's eyes were as wary as they could be.

Watching from above, the Tathagata Buddha's face was as dark as ink. He cursed inwardly,

"You ungrateful wretch! The Western Heaven is your home. Aren't you happy that they enlightened a disciple to carry your luggage?!"

Seeing Tang Sanzang's suspicion, Sha Wujing instantly understood and quickly said:

"Master, rest assured, I am also wholeheartedly devoted to Buddhism. Yesterday, I was enlightened by Lord Prison God, and now I have been given a Dharma name, called Sha Wujing."

Tang Sanzang's eyebrows immediately rose, and the wariness disappeared, replaced by joy.

"Excellent! So it was Immortal Lord Prison God who enlightened you. Then it's all right. Good disciple, from now on, follow me to the Western Heaven to worship Buddha and seek scriptures!"

Tathagata Buddha: "..."

You wicked disciple!

Are you being this biased?

Enlightened by the Western Heaven? No!

Enlightened by the Prison God? Yes!

Besides, shouldn't the name Sha Wujing be bestowed by a Bodhisattva? Has he been poached again?

Because of Chu Hao's name, Tang Sanzang immediately accepted what had happened in the Flowing Sand River.

Although Tang Sanzang vaguely felt that this kind of thing was a bit familiar, a bit like the last time Sun Wukong was enlightened, a small piece of memory turned blank.

But Tang Sanzang didn't dwell on it too much.

Tang Sanzang said to Sha Wujing:

"Sha Wujing, Immortal Lord Prison God bestowed this name, which must have a profound meaning. You must not let down the Prison God."

Sha Wujing was respectful, his eyes full of admiration.

"Rest assured, Master, I will definitely not let down the Prison God's intentions!"

Sha Wujing glanced at the two loads he was carrying, a hint of coldness flashing in his eyes.

Eradicate evil, but do not kill without cause!

I, Kill Without Cause, will not let go of any evil, no matter who it is, eradicate evil!

Sha Wujing was very clear about his responsibilities.

Tang Sanzang, now awake, suddenly said:

"What should we do next?"

This sentence immediately plunged the scene into silence.

Sun Wukong and Pig Bajie looked at Tang Sanzang with blank expressions.

Sun Wukong scratched his head, "You are the Master, you decide."

Pig Bajie also looked solemn, "Master, aren't you going to the Western Heaven? Shouldn't we move forward?"

Tang Sanzang looked resistant.

"We should go to the Western Heaven, but without the Prison God's protection, how difficult do you think it will be for us next?"

"Do you think those beasts in the Western Heaven will make things easy for us? Master feels that this time I fell into the Flowing Sand River because of the Western Heaven's secret plot."

"Now that the Prison God is not here, every step we take is a step closer to danger. Why not, um, let's call it a day."

Sun Wukong looked solemn.

"Seems like it."

Pig Bajie nodded thoughtfully: "That makes sense."

Sha Wujing stroked his scruffy beard.

"Taking a vacation on the first day of the journey to the West? But that's not bad either."

"But since this is my territory, I'll go down and catch some seafood... Oh no, we are monks now."

Tang Sanzang frowned.

"Monks can't eat seafood? Where did you get this kind of Buddhism from!"

"Never mind, today I have to give you a crash course in advanced Buddhist knowledge. If you continue to follow those old and rigid Buddhist teachings, you will never be able to attain enlightenment!"

"Go, carry the wine and meat from your cave for Master. Today's task is to give you some new Buddhism!"

Sha Wujing's eyes lit up.

"Alright, right away!"

Sha Wujing's Buddhist concepts were still stuck in his understanding as the Curtain Lifting General. Now, hearing that Tang Sanzang was going to popularize new Dharma for him,

Sha Wujing: If you want to talk about this, I'm not sleepy!

Then, on the first day, the Journey to the West master and disciples gathered together to drink wine, eat meat, brag, slack off, and talk about Buddhism!

The Buddhism that Tang Sanzang was talking about, when heard by the Tathagata Buddha, was like a thunderbolt!

The Tathagata Buddha was completely stunned in place!

"Saving tens of thousands of ants is not as good as killing one evil person!"

"Bajie, the eight precepts are for restraining others!"

"Wine and meat pass through the intestines, the Buddha sits in the heart! Disciples, eat more, do you feel the Buddha in your stomach?"

"Not yet? Then eat more, you must personally feel the Buddha flowing in your body, and then excrete it. Only in this way can you truly implement the true meaning of Buddhism!"

"In fact, in the world, besides the Buddhas of the Western Heaven, there are said to be even higher Supreme Buddhas. I do not know their names, only their titles: Prosperity, Democracy, Civilization, Harmony..."

"And..."

If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, the Tathagata Buddha would not have dared to believe that the monk drinking wine, eating meat, and speaking of killing evil and promoting good was Tang Sanzang!

This completely stunned the Tathagata Buddha.

Since Tang Sanzang left Chang'an and started the Journey to the West, he had entrusted all the matters of the Journey to the West to Guanyin Bodhisattva and had not paid attention to the child's mental health and growth.

He thought he only needed to protect the Journey to the West, prevent it from being destroyed by external forces, and be able to continue moving forward.

But now he never expected that the Journey to the West had already begun to become outrageous from the inside!

Who is this monk standing on the table, drinking wine, eating meat, singing loudly, and full of muscles!

Is this really the Golden Cicada I arranged?

And those few disciples, why are their eyes so sharp? That's not the look of reciting Buddha at all!

And what's going on with this Buddhism!

Who exactly is teaching this advanced Buddhism?!

Also, most importantly, who knows who fabricated these Buddhas of Prosperity, Democracy, Civilization, Harmony...?!

The Tathagata Buddha began to doubt his Buddha-life.